McSweeney's Lists

If you're unfamiliar with these juicy bits of clever humor, you can feel free to mail notes of your appreciation to 3910 Bowden's Ferry Rd. #2 Norfolk, VA 23508. McSweeney's is only the best intelligent humor magazine/collective that I can think of, behind such brilliant things as The Boring Store and Wholphin, and the brainchild of Dave Eggers (author of the incredible memoir A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which is just that). McSweeney's is both a quarterly journal and an online journalistic entity, both classic and cheeky, and you should read their FAQ because it'll tell you everything I want to, but in a way that will make you smile. But my favorite McSweeney's feature is the subject of this blog: the lists. They're short, easily digestible, highly quotable, range from impossibly smart to totally dumb, and are all worth reading when you have a minute or an hour to spare. The total list can be found here, but I'll post some of my favorites to whet your appetite.

Failed Ben & Jerry's Flavors
by John McMurtrie

Noam Chompsky
Peppermint Thai Stick
Alice Scooper
Newark Super Sludge Chunk
Kucinich Spinach
Hall and Oatmeal
Heavenly Hashish
Coffee Annan
Cookies 'N' Hemp

and more...

An Oversimplified list of Options in Iraq
Words Never Used in Remotely Good Movies
Mildly Disturbing Greeting Card Messages

Considered but Discarded names for the indie band Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin
Ineffective Lines Deleted from Final Revisions of Violent Box-Office Hits
Four Things I Would have said to Sylvia Plath if I had Been her Boyfriend
and probably my favorite:
Cancelled Regional Morning TV Shows

So there it is. McSweeney's. Bookmark that puppy.