20061006

Let's go for #3: The Last Kiss



No, I don't plan on seeing The Last Kiss. Not in theatres anyway. Why? Because espn.com's Bill Simmons is one of my favorite writers and I agree with him about 90% of the time. His review of the movie (in comparison to the gawdawful 2006 Oakland Raiders) is really all I need to know. Here it is pasted in all its glory:

"Confession time: The Sports Gal dragged me to see "The Last Kiss" this week under the "you make me watch sports for 365 days a year, I ask you to take me to one movie per year" corollary. I didn't know anything about it other than it looked like "Garden State 2," which I wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad thing. Well, it turned out to be a profoundly unhappy movie that will leave you almost in disbelief the entire time that anyone would make a movie so depressing. It's about as uplifting as the sex scene from "Requiem For a Dream," only if you threw in Starbucks music, some intermittent screaming and Zach Braff looking secretly pissed off the director isn't listening to him.

Midway through the 20th straight scene where two people were yelling at one another, I pulled the straw out of the Sports Gal's soda, then pretended to start slitting my wrists with it. She started laughing and a couple of people turned around and gave us nasty looks, because God forbid we were interrupting such a powerfully crappy movie. That pissed me off -- that other people were pissed off, because there's no way in hell anyone should like this movie -- so I spent the rest of the movie mimicking various suicide attempts, with my favorite one being the "open a bottle of pills, turn them over, pour them out, then stuff a bunch of them in your mouth" routine. Let's see them put this blurb on the movie poster.

Here's why I'm telling you this: I'm not sure what will end up being a more depressing DVD release -- "The Last Kiss," or the Raiders' 2006 team video. Probably depends on the number of Imogen Heap songs. But I really don't want you to see the "Last Kiss," and I really, really, REALLY don't want you to wager on the 2006 Raiders. Not ever."


Amanda is apparently seeing it this weekend. Maybe she'll disagree so we can debate.

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